The weekend....

So I went up to my hometown this weekend for my cousins reception.   It was a lovely night out but I also realized a few things.  I miss my hometown of Cornwall and I miss my family and friends that I have there.  By family I mean my sister and her kids, cause at the reception I felt like an outsider. Although most of my life I felt like the black sheep of that side of my family.  All my cousins are close in age,  none are close to mine so they all hang out together and don't really include anyone else. That could be cause none of them have kids I don't know.  That is how I feel, love them to pieces but I don't feel any kinship at all.  


I always see on facebook all the parties and get together that my so called friends, friends and family have together.  All the pictures of happy times.  Don't get me wrong I am happy for them but also feel left out.  Could this be my depression rearing it's ugly head again or am I just being petty.  I'm not sure anymore.  Right now I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there and not come out at all.  I don't want to impose on anyone or have anyone invite me out somewhere out of pity.  

Just the thought of asking if I wouldn't mind joining would be a great start. Even if I cannot make it, it's great to be asked.  I don't mean get asked every single time that's for sure that is a bit selfish don't you think. lol 

So needless to say this is a bad week for me.